member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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