i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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