My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
being pregnant is like rehab
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
