i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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