why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
