FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
