i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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