the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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