the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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