If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you inspire me to be a worse person
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Randomize