I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
