Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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