she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
