if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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