New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I love having hate sex.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
