yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he puts the penis in happiness.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
