barbara walters just said penis...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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