First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
