Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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