I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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