she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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