I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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