you would pick up someone in the library
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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