last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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