I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
