i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
