Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
