Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
