she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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