Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
