I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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