He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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