unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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