I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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