She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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