what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm at about main and main street
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just pee around me
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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