Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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