see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
