I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
