i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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