pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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