i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
