Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
time to smoke my breakfast
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
