just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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