Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
