he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
