wat bout pragnant strippers??
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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