Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize