Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
