I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
