She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize