you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
