i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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