is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
