Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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