if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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