if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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