Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
