Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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