im drinking this country out of the recession.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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