Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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