my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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