Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
