if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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