True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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