My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I understand Curling. That high.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
