just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just forgot I was standing up.
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