walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
